Indecisive.

Oh Em Gee.
I have 58 days until the 2011 GNC IFBB North American Championships.
Cue panic attack…

This is not good, and I’m debating postponing my first attempt at Women’s Physique.
I know, I know, not cool.. I mean really, this is possibly the only time I’ll ever be this close to a Pro Card, so why not, right?

Wrong.

I am not ready, and I am beginning to have my doubts as to being ready in 8 weeks.
I’m too small to make my WP debut in 8 weeks; I weighed in at 114lb last night, 6lbs short of my goal weight for June 30.  I need to gain muscle mass, and it’s not happening as quickly as I had hoped.  I don’t know what to do… I really don’t want to spend a small fortune (at the very least this one will run about $300) on a show if I know I have no chance – I’ve done that enough as it is.  I could wait until next year, when WP is in all NPC shows; that gives me more time to grow before I have to cut down again, but that also takes away the aspect of doing a National Level Show without pre-qualifying.

FML.

Have you had to make an impossible decision lately? How did you do it?
I feel  like I’m in an endless battle with myself and I don’t know what to do…

I need to make a decision ASAP though, if I’m doing the show I need to get my diet in order for 8 weeks out, and I need to fill out my application and make hotel arrangements.  And I need to pick a song for my routine, and maybe order a new suit.

I’m not going to lie, I’m not ready to give up peanut butter and oatmeal and fruit and other assorted delicacies again, I’ve only been off season for 2 ½ months.. It’s just not fair!

What delicacy (or delicacies) could you not bear to give up? And would you for the sake of looking “good” on stage?

OK, thank you for letting me get that off my chest!
I know I’m missing some workouts.. A less-than-impressive Leg Day on Tuesday and Shoulders from last night.. I’ll get them on here ASAP, I promise!

Have a beautiful day fellow bloggers!
And give me your 2 cents on this… I’m completely at a loss.

My Identity Crisis

Ughhh...

First and formeost, I am apologizing in advance. Today is one of those OMG someone feel bad for me days, ya know?

So, I'm attempting to gain weight. Keyword being attempting. This has been the goal since I walked off stage at my last show, being told yet again that I am too lean & too muscular for Figure. The NPC (as you may or may not know) had been discussing the new Women's Physique Division; this division is made for girls like me who are too muscular for Figure, but are not quite big enough for Women's Bodybuilding. That was my goal - to build myself up enough to do my first WPD show this fall.  And here I am...

This weekend will mark 11 weeks to the show I have chosen, and I'm stuck. I've gained weight, and am at my heaviest ever (114 compared to 110), but I am discouraged and very highly unmotivated.

Gaining weight may be the most difficult thing I've ever done - it may be harder than the cutting phase 2-3 weeks out from a show.

No, its not hard to gain weight.

Its hard to be happy while gaining weight.

In order to put on muscle, it is inevitable that you put on fat as well.  When the diet phase starts, and the fat is shedded, the newer (bigger) muscles are revealed. But in the meantime, this SUCKS.

I mean really, you saw my progress pictures from Saturday. Thats what I'm stuck with right now.

This is what I looked like 4 weeks out from my last show (late February of this year):

And this is what I looked like 2 weeks out (mid-March):

And this is what I need to look like in September:
Or at least be able to compete with..

Dana Linn Bailey - FIRST Women's Physique IFBB Pro.
http://www.danalinn.com
LOVE her.

FML.

Ok, I think that's it for the venting for today..
Again, my apologies. I hate that whole "pity me, please" nonsense, but what can I say - I'm human, and female. It happens.

I promise a better post today, full of motivation and recipes, and workouts and other fun stuff.  Take this as my permission to skip this post completely.

12 Week Update

Happy Monday Morning!

Miss me?!

This weekend was good.  I got my new baby on Friday!

Isn't she beautiful?!  I need to name her - but so far I am drawing a blank..

Also on Friday? Chest & Back day!  Officially the latest I've ever been at the gym (we didn't get there until almost 8pm!).
Superset: Dumbbell Flat Bench Press & T-Bar Rows (5 sets each).
DB: 25's for 15 reps, 25's for 12, 35's for 5, 30's for 8, 25's for 12.
T-Bar: 45lb for 15 reps, 70lb for 8, 60lb for 10, 50lb for 12, 50lb for 12.
Cable Pull-Downs; 4 sets. (Disclaimer: I have NO IDEA what the numbers on this particular cable machine stand for, never have..) 4 for 20, 6 for 6, 5 for 12, 4 for 15.
Cable Fly; 2 sets (and then some dude stole them, boo.). 2 for 15, 2 for 15.
Superset: Incline DB Press & One-Arm Rows (4 sets each).
Incline: 30's for 8, 25's for 12, 25's for 12, 20's for 15.
One-Arm: 25lb for 15, 30lb for 12, 30lb for 12, 25lb for 15.

Saturday was measurement day! And progress pictures (which I will apologize for now, as the didn't turn out well).

Measurements were the same as Wednesday, with 2 exceptions:
Weight: 114lb (boo). Goal is still 120 by 6/30.
Body Fat: 12.8% Goal is still 11%.
Shoulders: 35.5. Goal is 37.
Neck: 11. Goal is 11.
Thigh: 19.5 Goal is 21.

I lifted legs again, and it was another death day.  Rob made me drop the stops on the squat rack 2 inches, which means I dropped my squats 2 inches.  Which means I tortured myself..
Leg Press to warm up: 200lbs for 3 sets of 12 reps.
Calves Raises: 150lb for 15
Bench Step-Ups: 20lbs for 20 steps (10 each leg).
Squats: 5 sets. 115 for 12, 135 for 6, 95 for 6, 95 for 6, 115 for 8. (Needless to say, that extra 2 inches very seriously dropped my weights).

Calves Raises: 150lb for 15

Bench Step-Ups: 20lbs for 20 steps (10 each leg).

Lunges: 4 sets Forward & Backward (I do 4 forward, then 2 backward - hurts like hell).
65lb for 30 (15 each leg - 24 forward, 6 backward), 65 for 30, 65 for 24, 55 for 30.
Superset: Low Back Extensions & Calve Raises. 3 sets each.
Back: 90lb for 15 (all 3 sets)
Calves: 150 for 15, 170 for 12, 150 for 12.
Superset: Hip Adductor & Abductor. 3 sets each.
Adductor: 90lb for 10, 70 for 15, 90 for 10
Abductor: 70lb for 15, 70 for 12, 50 for 15.
Deadlifts (note - I should've done these first). 3 sets.
115lb for 5 reps, 105 for 8, 95 for 8.

Sunday was yet another rest day - I felt like hell, and it was my dad's birthday, so no gym for me.  Just food and rest.

These next 12 weeks should be interesting.. I am so relieved to be working towards another show, it makes me feel more productive.  And I think I need to stop taking weekends off from blogging - it leaves way too much catching up to do!  I haven't even gotten to any recipes yet..

But, that will be for later, or tomorrow - stay tuned!

=)

Shoulders, goals, and ICE CREAM!

Last night’s Shoulder Workout went well; I weighed in and took some measurements – I know, it’s a bit early (I was waiting until Saturday) but I couldn’t contain myself! I’ll do it again Saturday, with photos, since Saturday starts 12 weeks and GAME TIME.

My measurements (and goals to reach by 6/30):

Weight: 118; Goal 120.
Body fat: 13.5%; Goal 11%.
Bicep (R): 11.5; Goal 12.
Calve (R): 14; Goal 14. (Hell yeah!)
Waist: 27; Goal 25.
Hip: 34; Goal 34. (Again, hell yeah!)
Chest: 32.5; Goal 34.
Forearm: 9.5; Goal 10.

My goals will change on the 30^th, based on where I’m at and where I need to be for the show in September.. I like short term goals (i.e. one month at a time), because they’re much easier to attain build off of.

Shoulder workout was as follows:

3 Arnold Presses to warm-up.  20lb dumbbells, 3 sets, 15-12-9 reps.
EZ-Bar Upright Rows. 5 sets:  45lbs 15 reps, 55lbs 10 reps, 50 lbs 12 reps, 45lbs 15 reps (twice with minimal rest).
Superset Overhead Press & Shrugs; 5 sets Overhead, 4 sets Shrugs.
Overhead: 35lb DBs 5 reps, 30lb 7 reps, 25 lb 10 reps, 20 lb 15 reps, 15 lb (one arm at a time) 15 reps each arm (30 total).
Shrugs: 45lb plates 12 reps, 45lb 10 reps, 35lb 12 reps, 35lb 10 reps.
Standing Rear Delt Fly. 3 sets: 10lb DBs 15 reps, 12lb 12 reps, 10lb 15 reps.
Superset L’s (front raise) & T’s(side raise); 3 sets each.
L’s: 15lb DBs(one in each hand) 12 reps, 10lb 15 reps, 12lb 15 reps.
T’s: 10lb DBs 15 reps, 10 lb 15 reps, 10 lb 15 reps.
Superset Rotator Cuff & Static T’s; 2 sets rotator cuff, 3 Static T’s.
Rotator Cuff: 15 lb DBs 15 reps (both sets).
Static T’s: 10lb DBs 10 sec, 10lb 10 sec, 5lb 30 sec (arm circles).
T’s to failure; 10lb DBs.
Machine Military Presses to Failure: 30lb 20 reps, 15lbs 25 reps.

All in all, a good workout – I need to get those numbers up though, I have some serious building to do!  Legs (hopefully) tonight – I’m still a little sore though, so I may lift back..

No new recipe today L BUT I will share my favorite Pre-bedtime treat:

Casein Ice Cream:
1 scoop Casein Protein (I use double chocolate by ON)
2 egg whites (from real eggs)
Optional: 1 T Peanut Butter, 2 T PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter, 1 T Cocoa Powder, etc… for taste/macros.

Whip the egg whites, fold in casein & optional ingredients, add water to desired consistency.  Freeze for 45 minutes-1 hour; take out and stir once after about 30 min.  Enjoy!!