Friday, July 1, 2011

OMG, I compete in 64 days.

Happy Friday!!
(…and Happy Canada Day, yay!!)

I wanted to share something with all of you that I read on Tessa’s Blog (Amazing Asset); she wrote today about negative self-talk and never believing that you are truly “good enough”.  I want you all to go read what she wrote because it is amazing, and I think it applies to more of us than you may think.

Myself, for example?  I spend more time beating myself up and stressing over the negatives than I feel anyone should.
I am constantly reminding myself of the exact number of days until my next show (9 weeks and 1 day); I tell myself over and over that there’s no way I can be ready in time. I have too much muscle to gain, and too much fat to shed.
I go to the gym, and tell myself that I need to be lifting bigger weights, with more reps and sets.  I need to run after I lift, maybe before too, and probably first thing every morning on an empty stomach.
I need to go back to counting calories, and my pre contest diet needs to start, yesterday.  No chocolate, no PB, cut the carbs, NO alcohol, double protein, drop sodium, etc…
I get to the show, and I look around at the other girls (Look at them - they trained harder, they dieted longer, they stuck with it – they didn’t cry, they didn’t complain – LOOK at them, now look at yourself.  You should just pack up and go home now).
In the “real worldI know I’m not fatnowhere near it – but in competition world, I very well may be.  I could be too lean as well, or too muscular; I may not be the perfect shade of orange-ish brown and my smile may not be perfect.  I could come in too flat, or I could be spilling over.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being on stage and am truly proud of myself – but I also believe that competing is what formed all of these negativities in me.  It is such a good feeling to be in a show, to meet other girls that know exactly how you feel because they’re hungry, and tired, and sore right there with you.  And then you get out there on that stage, under the lights, and you bare it all – you show those judges, and the audience, exactly what you’re worked so hard to build – but mostly, you show yourself what you can do, and you’re proud.  And then you wait… And every single show I’ve done, at every single call out, I don’t hear my name.  I’ve never heard my name.  I’ve never made top 5 and the only time I made top 10 was when there were less than 10 girls in my class.  All the pride you felt is gone, and you’re left to hear why you aren’t good enough.

I need to start focusing on the positive – I need to be as happy with myself in last place as I would be in first.  I need to find the fun in it again, and that’s what I’m trying to do.  I’m learning how to love myself, and I want all of you to do the same.

You are good enough.  You are perfect.  No one can compare to you, because no one else is anything like you.  Please believe that.

Now that I got that off my chest, I’ll share my Shoulder workout from last night.

Warm Up: Superset; Arnold Press & Rotator Cuff
Arnold (4 sets): 15lb DBs for 15, 25lb DBs for 8, 20lb DBs for 12, 15lb DBs for 15
Rotator (3 sets): 12lb for 15 (each arm), 15lb for 15, 12lb for 15
Superset; Plate Shrugs & Dumbbell Rear Delt Fly
Shrugs (4 sets): 45lb for 12, 45lb for 12, 35lb for 12, 35lb for 12
DB Fly (3 sets): 12lb DBs for 15, 12lb for 12, 12lb for 12
Superset; Dumbbell Military Press & Cable Crossovers
Press (4 sets): 30lb DBs for 6, 25lb DBs for 10, 20lb DBs for 10 (no rest) straight to 15lb DBs for 15
Crossovers (2 sets): 20lb for 15, 20lb for 15
Dumbbell T’s & L’s (4 sets): 12lb DBs for 48 (12 T, 12 L), 12lb DBs for 40 (10 each), 10lb DBs for 48 (12 each), 5lb DBs for 80 (20 each) *Hold last T for 5 sec.
Upright Rows (Cable): 65lb for 12, 55lb for 12, 50lb for 12
Superset; Rear Delt Fly (Machine) & Static T (5 T’s, hold on last rep)
Fly (4 sets): 40lb for 12, 30lb for 15, 30lb for 12, 30lb for 12
T’s (4 sets): 12lb DBs 5 reps - held for 5 sec, 10lb DBs 5 reps – held for 10, 10lb DBs 5 reps – held for 10, 10lb DBs 5 reps – held for 10

P.S. My Supplement Page will be up today too!
Stay tuned =)

I hope you all have a fantastic Friday, and a wonderful weekend!
And enjoy the holiday! (Whichever you celebrate).

What are your weekend plans?

What is your favorite thing about YOU?


  1. Wow. Thanks for sharing this. And you're right. You are perfect now. There is no one else like you. And do your competitions because you LOVE to train and compete, not to win. Accept the challenge of it all and enjoy that. You might surprise yourself and come in first someday!

    Plans for the weekend? I don't know. Something FUN! And something OUTSIDE!

    I love my freckles and my auburn hair. :-) Thanks for reminding me.

  2. I love you for this post! I have to remember that where I was and where I am now is leaps and bounds! and yes I may not place top 10 or top 5 even but I have place number one with myself!

    Thank you thank you thank you!

    going to go read the post now.

  3. I have competed before as well. I know how it screws with your head. But know that very few people have the discipline to do what you are doing, so enough of the negative talk. Do what you can and know that's all you can do, and more than probably most people are doing! You're a rockstar!